just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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