I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
