i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize