She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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