Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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