So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
