you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
