I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
