So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
