I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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