great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
