I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
