I want to make a zoo with you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
