so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
