I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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