So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the day after is always just damage control
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Houston, we have a blender
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have feelings that need drinking.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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