I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
