Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize