Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
