I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
