he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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