and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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