Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
