i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
