I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
