these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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