In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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