I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
