I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize