They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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