So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
