i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
