there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
