his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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