can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
