I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
