I looked at my own cervix.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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