Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
