dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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