you guys were way drunker than both of me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
