I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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