On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
