babies were throwing up all over the place
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
