im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
