The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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