No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
