You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
