If i come over, it means nothing
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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