My hand turned me down
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
