I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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