Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
