the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
