you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
sarcasm needs its own font
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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