Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
