Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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