My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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