FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
