so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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