I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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